Fangirl

A while back, in a blog entry that would probably better qualify as a rant, I was expressing my rather unflattering views about groupies. So it's a little ironic to be talking about myself today as a fan girl. Though I will say there is a difference!! (At least there is in the twisted little world I evolve in!)

Last Thursday, we were having a design lunch to discuss SA (among other things) but mainly to come up with ways to try and fix the never ending saga of the ghost cams. And it was one of those discussions where you can see the goal, you can almost touch it, but there are so many hurdles in between you and it. You bounce ideas off of each other and they get shut down with very valid arguments, then revived with as valid counter arguments, and so on and so forth.

Halfway through the discussion, I was explaining why one of the proposed solutions wouldn't work because applied one way, it could be circumvented, while applied the other way, it would unfairly punish legit players. And it suddenly dawned on me (again!) that here I was, little Sakkarah from Atlantic, playing with the big boys. I mean to have Leurocian sitting at my right, Draconi and Uriah (Calvin) sitting across the table from me, and Wilki on my left, all of them paying close attention to my words and valuing my input, it was just eerie. And I was like "OMG, I'm still a fan girl!" Sheesh!

I was telling a buddy of mine about it and he said he didn't know how I did it. In my shoes, he would be too intimidated, afraid what he proposed would come across as lame, that he couldn't picture himself arguing against an idea these guys would come up with and that frankly, he didn't think they would give his ideas any real consideration. First off, I pointed out to him that he already argues with them about their ideas on the forums. And he was like, "Dang, you're right!" Of course I am! :P But I also explained to him that there is one thing I've learned over the years, mostly when I worked in the music and movie industry: even the greatest of idols is just another person. And being a yes man or a yes girl (ie a groupie) is the best way to make sure no one will ever care to hear anything you have to say.

It's not because you disagree with them that you have less respect or admiration for them. If you have been put in a position where your opinion or creative input is required, then you shouldn't be embarrassed or apologetic about it. Just be true to yourself and stand by what you believe in without trying to impose it onto others. That's always been my philosophy and I'm just too darn opinionated to act otherwise! I could go on a spiel about "have faith in yourself" and all that jazz, but I won't. Ok, ok, I lie. I had in fact written another four paragraphs which really ended up sounding preachy, self-righteous and holier than thou. So I delete them! (owned!)

Anyways, I just wanted to say that you know how sometimes you put people on a pedestal and once you meet them irl you feel it was a total let down? Well, I thought it was pretty cool realizing that after a year of working closely with those guys, I'm still a fan.