Sunday, April 26, 2009

Random (Rated M!)

Haven't posted in a while since I was in the middle of moving. Thankfully, this painful process is mostly done. So for my "comeback" post, I figured I would give you a little insight into some of the conversations of your devoted Dev Team. Please be forewarned, as stated in the title, that this is rated M. So if you are easily offended by crude words or nudity, you might want to skip this one altogether!

In order to protect the identity of the (not so) innocent, I will refer to the everyone based on their role on the team, ie Artist, Designer, Worldbuilder, Engineer, QA, Admin (for Producer, MD, and ADM) and DAoC for members of the Camelot team. Having no shame whatsoever, I will not hide my own contribution to the following!

Artsy Pants

1. I go over to the artists to request some new art, knowing my chances are slim.
Me: Hey, I know you guys are busy, but what are the chances you guys could make me a crack tile.
Artist 1: A what?!
Me: You know, like a crack on the ground. We have one already but it's tiny and I need a big one.
Artist 1: You want a big crack?
Me: Yeah, a very big one. You know, a "big ass" crack.
Artist 2: Did she just say she wanted a big... "ass crack".
Me: *blushing furiously* NO!! NO! I'm sorry, I just meant, a big hole!
Artist 1: Oooh you want a big hole? And what you want to do with that hole?
Me: I just want a big hole, crack, fissure, w/e you want to call it for stuff to come out of.
Artist 2: A fissure now is it? So you want a big orifice that has something coming out of it? And you would like us to provide you with that?
Me: I'm not gonna win this one am I?
Artist 1 & 2: Nope.
Me: I hate you all! *walks away*
Artists 1 & 2: ROFL

2. We're commenting about the SA poster were the female gargoyles have boobs bigger than their head and where the male gargoyles frankly don't give us women much eye candy to drool over.

Engineer: Nah, they aren't too big!
Me: Dude, seriously, compare their size to her head!
Engineer: They're not... errr... oh wow!
Me: Told ya!
Engineer: Bah, still looks fine.
Admin and Me: *roll eyes and mumble something like "typical male"*
Artist: LOL
DAoC: Frankly, I don't care about the boob thing, but something else bothers me.
Artist: Oh?
DAoC: If gargoyles are hatched, how come she's got a navel?
All of us: OH SHIT! LOL!

3. We're having our weekly team meeting to update everyone on our current progress, what we've accomplished this weeks, hurdles and other tidbits.

Artist: Gargoyles finally have underwear!
All of us: *cheers and applause*
Me: So now that you're done playing with panties, you can get some real work done?
Admin: REGINE!
Everyone else: LOL!
Me: *with a not so innocent look* What? He said he was fiddling with undies!
Admin: *shakes head*

4. But nope, the underwear fiddling is far from over! I'm passing by the artists' desks when I overhear QA and Artist 1 discussing gargoyle undies issues.

Me: Dang brother, are you seriously still messing around with those undies?
Artist: No ma'am! I've done all the fiddling I could do, and passed them on to the next guy.
QA: And the next guy (*raises hand*) passed it on to the other guy.
Artist: Who is now trying to pass them on to someone else. You interested?
Me: Oh hell no! Them undies have been around too much for my liking. They must have all kinds of bugs by now.
QA: Quite the understatement!
Me: You can keep those to yourself, tyvm!

QA Woes

1. I'm talking with the artists about the new monsters when a QA passing by spots me and calls out my name.

Me: Go away, I don't want to talk to you!
QA: WTF? What did I do?
Me: I hate you! You're always giving me bugs!

*Moment of silence*

QA: You know, that kinda sounded wrong.
Me: Huh? Ohh?! OMG, I didn't mean it like that!!!
Artist: Dang QA, I thought you guys were supposed to help squash bugs. Not pass them around!
QA: I thought that's what I was doing!
Me: You guys suck... -_-

2. QA comes to my desk while I'm discussing with Admin

QA: Hey Reg, you know that word you used for your new system for SA?
Me: Yeah, what about it?
QA: Well you used it as a noun, but it's actually a verb so (suggestions) would fit better.
Me: Really? One of you guys suggested that word!
QA: Maybe, but it's not cuz English is our first language that we all speak it right!
Me: So I see.
QA: So can we bug it?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Admin: Wow, you just got vocabulary bugged!
QA: Bug write up: Designer language skills - FAILED!
Me: Haters! :(

3. Just when you thought it was over, the bugged undies come back with a vengeance. I go over to QA's desk to give him some extra info to help him test my latest contribution to the game. He's in the middle of explaining to Admin some of the undies issue. So I peek in!

QA: Female gargoyle for some reason has see through panties. But the male is just fine
Me: Oh wow!
QA: Yeah, that's pretty bad.
Admin: I don't think that would go down too well for our Teen rating.
Me: No kidding. That's quite the bush!
QA & Admin: LOL!
Admin: You haven't heard what he named her when she was hued all red!
Me: Huh?
QA: *hues the gargoyle red* Meet Ms. Firecrotch!
Admin & Me: ROFL
Me: You guys are so bad. *starts walking away*
Me: I guess we'll have to make craftable razors for Tinkers and shaving cream for Alchies!


1. An engineer drops by my desk to show me the latest improvements to the SA Map. I go to the link he provided me which loads a screenshot of it.

Me: Oh nice! I like this very much. A million times better than the old KR one.
Engineer: Yeah, it's pretty cool. Now lets see if we can get the other features in.
Me: *tries to click the X on the map to close the gump*
Engineer: OMG, did you just try to close a gump on a JPG?
Me: *blushes*
Engineer: LOL, epic fail! *walks off*
Engineer: Guys, guess what Sak just did?
Me: ugh!

2. We're having another weekly meeting

Engineer: So among you non-KR users, how many will start using the SA client when we launch?
Admin: I definitely will to macro.
Everyone: WHAT!? WTF?!
Admin: *blushes furiously* NO!! NO!! I meant, I like how you can set up macros with it. And it's much more user friendly than 2D for crafting!
Everyone: LOL.
Me: mmmmhmmm, you just so outted yourself! *eyes Admin suspiciouly*
Admin: You can all bite me!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very funny post and look into the goings on there. Thanks for the post.

Concerning the female gargoyle, obviously you are not an artist, fisherman or fan of lord of the rings movies. If you were, you'd know about perspective. Why does a fisherman hold his prize catch forward toward the camera? Is Elijah Wood really that much shorter than Ian McKellar or were the actors positioned different distances from the camera? While I agree with your statement that her boobs are rather large and attractive, they certainly aren't bigger than her head. If they were, she'd fall over.